Did I cause this?

I need to talk about some serious events that most people will call random coincidences. But I am feeling a bit like a poltergeist lately who may be causing these events. Do you think it is possible? I mention these incidents, because much of what I do and write about concerns taking control of my health, diet, exercise…largely with the purpose of living a long and active life to the fullest. Of course I love the sports—they are thrilling when I play them. But the exercise and diet are often done because they are “good for me.” Friends who see me avoiding delicious foods to minimize my cholesterol intake either admire my discipline or scorn it. Many think the deprivations aren’t worth the extra years of life I am aiming for. Nor do they believe all that effort justifies or guarantees my goal of not only living longer, but being fit, mobile, even athletic during my remaining years.

Sure much of my good health may simply be good genes. Lucky break for me. Very lucky. Totally out of one’s control. But whatever I was born with, I want to enhance its good potential by living healthfully and avoiding much in our environment that is terrible for humans. We can skip those obesity-causing, artery-blocking, trans-fat foods, along with cigarettes, and tanning salons. We can also move away or protect ourselves from harmful pollutants around us that are beyond our control: leave the city for the country; live far from a factory; use sun block; don’t breathe gasoline fumes when refueling, etc.

In these ways, I have a tangible influence on some physical events around me. But how much beyond that? Some of us let life events cause us stress that affects our health negatively. Some of us have optimistic visions or goals for the future that we turn into realities.

But what about seemingly random events? Psychiatrist Carl Jung wrote about coincidences as not entirely accidents. He suggested that when they happened, and one noticed them, it was possible to take some responsibility for them. He called this “synchronicity,” which has been described as the experience of two or more events, that are apparently causally unrelated or unlikely to occur together by chance, that are observed to occur together in a meaningful manner.

I have paid attention to such synchronistic events for over 35 years. I am always wondering if I am merely linking unrelated accidents or not. Sometimes I pretend that I am totally the causal agent.

Here is what happened recently.

A close female relative became terribly sick and died. It upset me horribly. I was filled with anger and sadness and negativity. The week before she passed, a 31 year old miniature horse I have owned for 10 years, became sick and died. The next day, within 10 hours of my relative’s death, a fawn darted across the road and crashed into my car, dying instantly. The same day a neighbor called to tell me after 14 years of my owning a lake property, that a 30-inch diameter oak tree had fallen over and destroyed part of my dock. At a hotel a week later, there was only boiling hot water in the shower. Then only hot water as well in the sink. After an engineer supposedly fixed it the next day, when I tried it at night, it worked for less than a minute, and then there was no water at all in the shower and again only hot water in the sink. Only one other person reported a lack of cold water in a hotel with over 250 rooms.

So I am asking myself: could my violent feelings and emotions have anything to do with all these other occurrences? Am I causing them? No one would say I caused the 1000-point drop in the stock market these last two weeks. Right? Or that I caused a sudden windstorm that might have felled the tree? And it’s been 20-plus years since another fawn suddenly popped out of the woods in front of my moving car and was hit and died. Accidents happen. But are they really just random? Or was my pain and sadness spreading to other parts of my life and influencing events that are generally thought to be out of my control? I keep wondering. What do you think?