Here is an email I received from Dorli DiGrigorio commenting on a June 6th post questioning if you should tell your friends that they are fat?


I feel it is so important to keep our one given body that miraculously works most of the time in as good condition as possible. Your site gives people a chance to vent and share their successes and failures.

Your concern over the criticism you gave your friend eating multiple desserts (ed: see June 6 post) sparked my writing about what I learned at the Aesthetic Realism Foundation in relation to food. I don’t think you meant to put your friend down, but since he was trying to lose weight, you reminded him, and he didn’t seem to like that too much.

Food, I learned, like everything else, can be used to be wide and care for things more or to be narrow and give less meaning. We can, for instance, sit down at breakfast and think about where this food that is sustaining us comes from, and who were the people involved in growing, picking, delivering, selling it… and all the time having thoughts and feelings of their own. So, we are then using the food to be wide…to like the world more.

Then, there are instances when the world has given us a hard time. Perhaps there was traffic, an argument, or just plain everyday stress. We hit the refrigerator and look for a sweet treat or two and could unconsciously think, “now, the world is here to serve ME and assuage my hurt.” This is an example of food being narrow.

When one becomes too obsessive about one’s body, it is also narrow, and the wider world is not thought of enough. Read the rest of this entry »

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