ira's abs

Athletic Challenges and Achievements by Ordinary People

Posts Tagged humorous story

A Week At The Gym

Feb 7

Posted by ira in exercise, gym stuff, humorous stories | 1 Comment

This came in from a high school classmate, Stephanie Logan Kennedy. So perfect for me with my history of not being disciplined…until recently…

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
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MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god – with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
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TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It’s a whole new life for me.
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WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. Read the rest of this entry »

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He’s Naked!

Nov 28

Posted by ira in humorous stories | No Comments

At a dinner party over the Thanksgiving weekend, someone mentioned my website and how much fun it was to check in periodically. I explained to some questioners that I was trying to build a six-pack. One friend revealed that I was working on it and might qualify for a three-pack, which I challenged. To prove my point, I showed my latest progress photo that was still in my camera—the one I’d taken in the mirror.

I was startled to hear this woman yell out for the whole table, “He’s naked!” I panicked, wondering what shot she had seen if she had accidentally moved the viewer to another frame. I didn’t remember taking any nude pictures of myself. Nor having any one else do it. What the hell was she looking at? Uh-oh. I was in trouble.

I quickly reached over my hostess and grabbed my camera and saw that it was just the photo I had intended to present. You can see it at the top of the page in “My Progress Photos.” Yet for his woman, a man in gym shorts with no shirt is considered naked. Whew! Big sigh of relief. Yet I forget how self-conscious some folks are when it comes to displaying or perceiving the human form. Maybe it was the shock of seeing even a photo of a bare male chest at a dinner table.

Wonder what she thinks of the underwear ads on this site and billboards all over the country? Or when she goes to the beach in the summer?

Anyway after a closer look, she agreed that it looked like I was already in the six-pack range. Back to crunches and making extra-special sure what is on my camera when I pass it to others.

PS/Update: I told this story to someone who insisted that the woman at the dinner was just being cute to get attention. But I don’t think so. She’s no professional actress. She was surprised and blurted out the first thing that came to her.

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